


Like "Go Fish" But Harder

by Ashimattack



Series: Fragments [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alcohol, Drinking Games, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Multi, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-06-02 08:56:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6560095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashimattack/pseuds/Ashimattack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I got a book!” replied Akaashi.</p>
<p>“That doesn’t mean you win!”</p>
<p>“Fine but I get to take off my pants,” Akaashi replied with a pout, “and so does Kuroo.”</p>
<p>“That was not part of the deal,” said Kuroo.</p>
<p>“I don't make the rules sweety,” said Akaashi with a flutter of his eyelashes.</p>
<p>“You literally just made up that rule!”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like "Go Fish" But Harder

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted everyone to play some drinking games so this is entirely self indulgent. Also mostly based on true events. Enjoy!
> 
>  

“So it’s like go fish…. But harder?” asked Akaashi in confusion after Kuroo had finished explaining the rules to a random card game he had just found in a book.

“And also with alcohol,” he added in to Akaashi’s assessment. Iwaizumi looked towards the book of card games Kuroo was holding in confusion.

“It's a drinking game?” he asked doubtfully and Kuroo shook his head.

“No I just took the easiest game in the book and turned it into one,” he replied, “Every time you ask someone for a card and they don’t have it you have to take a drink. If someone takes a card from you, you take a drink.”

“If someone asks you for a card but you need it to complete your four do you still have to give it away?” asked Akaashi.

“Yeah but you can ask for it back,” replied Kuroo, “you can only take a card from someone once though, or else it’d just go back and forth forever.”

“Who cares!” butted in Oikawa, “how do I win?”

“By getting the most books,” replied Kuroo, “a book is a set of four cards. Winner gets to make anybody of their choosing skull their drink.”

“And they also get to take off their pants!” added in Akaashi.

“What? I didn’t hear anything like that…” asked Bokuto in confusion.

“Nah, that’s definitely a part of the rules,” agreed Oikawa, who was sitting next to Akaashi.

“So I have to ask for a specific card?” asked Bokuto, “like, I can’t just ask for a nine; it has to be a nine of a specific suit?”

“Yeah,” answered Kuroo, “and you have to already have a nine in your hand to ask for another nine.”

“I’m so confused,” said Akaashi as he took another sip of his drink. It was his birthday and he’d already had quite a bit, this game was going over his head.

“Can we just start?” asked Tsukishima exasperatedly, “We’ll figure it out as we go along.”

Kuroo dealt out all the cards and Akaashi took a look at his hand expectantly. He had no doubles whatsoever, he wondered if it was even possible to win without any doubles in your hand at all. He looked beside him, to where Oikawa was making no effort to conceal his hand and noticed that Oikawa had a few doubles, including two kings (which he had one of).  
The game started and people went around the circle asking each other for cards, it became apparent that nobody except Kuroo and Akaashi were aware of the suit names.

“Akaashi, do you have a six of….” Bokuto squinted, “upside down black heart?”

“Spades?” asked Akaashi.

“Yeah that one I think,” replied Bokuto with a nod.

“Nope,” replied Akaashi, “go fish Bokuto.”

“Guys its not go fish!” said Kuroo in exasperation.

“What is it called then?” asked Iwaizumi.

“Um, I don't really know actually,” replied Kuroo, “books or something.”

“Its my turn!” said Oikawa, “Tsukishima, do you have a ten of clubs?”

“Clubs?” asked Tsukishima, “is that the one with the little diamond?”

“No, that’s diamonds,” responded Akaashi, “Clubs is the little tree.”

“Oh, no I don't have any little trees,” responded Tsukishima.

“Wait shit, no I have the little tree,” said Oikawa in annoyance, “I meant to say spades.”

“No do overs!” called out Iwaizumi from where he was on the other side of Akaashi.

“Kuroo do you have a 6 of hearts?” asked Akaashi, “also can someone play some music?”

“Nah I don’t have that card,” responded Kuroo, “and why don't you play your music?”

“Because no one likes my music, its not party music,” replied Akaashi.

“Can’t be as bad as Kuroo’s,” said Iwaizumi, “I still remember that party where he took over the entire speaker system and played One Direction for an hour straight.”

“Hey that was great party music!” objected Kuroo.

“Why don’t you get your laptop and find something on youtube?” asked Bokuto to Akaashi. Akaashi nodded and got to his feet, he swayed slightly and took a moment to appreciate the alcohol taking effect. He was having fun, despite the weird game. They were just having a quiet night with drinks at the house that Bokuto and Kuroo shared with Iwaizumi and Oikawa. They were still waiting on Daichi and Suga (Akaashi and Tsukishima’s house mates) to come around later on.

Akaashi got back into the lounge room just as Kuroo had finished his turn; it was now Tsukishima’s turn again.

“Bokuto do you have a ten of clubs?” he asked Bokuto, who was sitting on his left.

“Nah man,” replied Bokuto, “go fish.”

Oikawa sniggered.

“What was that?” asked Tsukishima in annoyance.

“Nothing,” responded Oikawa, “just that if you’d been paying attention you would’ve realised that I have that card, I told you the last round.”

“Fuck,” responded Tsukishima and took a drink, “I hate this game.”

“Oikawa, do you have a ten of clubs?” asked Bokuto and Oikawa’s face fell.

“Ugh,” he groaned and handed the card over. Akaashi felt a little bad for him, he knew he probably didn't have a chance at this point (despite having somehow acquiring another six) and wanted Oikawa to win instead of him (knowing that he’d probably make Iwaizumi skull his drink and drunk Iwaizumi was always fun). So he nudged Oikawa’s arm a little bit and discretely showed him the king of hearts he held in his hand. Oikawa’s face lit up before he shuffled his cards around, showing Akaashi that he had a six of spades.

“Akaashi, do you have a king of hearts?” he asked nonchalantly.

“Oh my, it seems that I do,” replied Akaashi, “is it my go? Oikawa, you wouldn’t happen to have a six of spades would you?”

“Oh it seems that I do!” responded Oikawa, “fancy that!”

Both of them giggled and Tsukishima glared at them suspiciously.

“Guys don’t cheat!” said Kuroo in annoyance.

“We're not cheating, we’re just lucky,” responded Oikawa.

“Why are you helping him?” Iwaizumi directed towards Akaashi. Akaashi just shrugged.

“I think I just wanna take my pants off,” he admitted.

“Whatever, Kuroo do you have an ace of spades?” asked Iwaizumi, Kuroo handed over the card and Iwaizumi did a little fist pump.

“I just got a book!” he declared triumphantly.

“Oh thank god, does that mean the game is over?” asked Bokuto.

“No, its whoever has the most books by the time all the cards are gone,” said Kuroo, “but everyone else has to take a drink now.”

“Also Iwa has to take his pants off!” declared Oikawa.

“That is not one of the rules,” responded Iwaizumi.

“Sorry Iwa, we don’t make the rules,” replied Akaashi earnestly.

“You literally just made up that rule,” growled Iwaizumi.

The next turn was Kuroo’s, who ended up having to take a drink.

“Oikawa! Give me your ten of clubs!” said Tsukishima triumphantly as he pointed to Oikawa. Oikawa giggled.

“Still not paying attention? Bokuto took that from me last round,” replied Oikawa.

Tsukishima sent a glare to the man beside him and Bokuto just smirked at him.

“Also you can’t ask me for it again, since you already did once,” reminded Bokuto.

“I hate this game,” declared Tsukishima again.

“Me too,” said Akaashi.

The game continued until eventually Oikawa managed to get the last king.

“Every body drink!” he declared, “also I get to take my pants off now.”

“I’m so jealous,” said Akaashi and Oikawa just gave him a peace sign.

“Does someone want this? I don't want it anymore, Tsukishima keeps glaring at me,” said Bokuto as he held out the ten of clubs.

“Ill take it!” said Akaashi, he had another ten in his hand. Bokuto handed it over and Kuroo looked puzzled.

“Don’t you want to try and get the other two?” asked Kuroo.

“What?” asked Bokuto.

“Like, you have two tens right now, shouldn't you try and get the other two? There’s a good chance Tsukishima has them after all…” 

“No I only have one ten,” replied Bokuto with a shake of his head.

“Then… how did you get that one?” asked Tsukishima.

“I got it from Oikawa,” responded Bokuto and Akaashi sniggered.

“You can only ask for a card if you have another one in your hand already!” said Oikawa in outrage, “you took my ten for nothing!”

“Oh, whoops,” said Bokuto and Akaashi started laughing.

“Akaashi, give me that ten,” said Tsukishima on his next turn.

“What ten?” asked Akaashi with feigned innocence.

“The one Bokuto just gave you! Of clubs!”

“Bokuto didn't give me a card,” replied Akaashi with an absolute deadpan.

“Yes he did!” Tsukishima turned to Bokuto, “you did didn't you?”

Bokuto just shook his head.

Tsukishima squinted between both of them.

“So you have it?” he asked Bokuto and Bokuto shook his head again, “Akaashi??”

“I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about,” replied Akaashi, maintaining his poker face.

Tsukishima looked like he was about to explode at this point.

“Akaashi I know you have the card!” he sounded angry now.

“I don’t!” said Akaashi solemnly.

“I swear I…” he honestly looked distraught and Akaashi felt a little bad.

“Ugh fine, here you go,” he said as he handed over the card.

“Thank you!” said Tsukishima and was grateful until it came to Akaashi’s turn and he asked for the card back.

“What,” asked Tsukishima.

“You took my ten,” said Akaashi, “I need that to win.”

“You need to have another ten to ask for a ten,” said Tsukishima.

“Yeah,” replied Akaashi, “I have another ten and now you cant take this one from me again.”

“I could take your other ten though,” replied Tsukishima.

“Yeah but then you’d be screwing us both over, at least this way one of us gets to have the tens,” replied Akaashi.

Tsukishima looked between his hand and Akaashi a few times before groaning and throwing three tens at Akaashi.

“This is bullshit, you might as well just take them now,” he said.

“Aw thanks babe,” replied Akaashi as he triumphantly threw them on the table, “I win!”

Kuroo gaped.

“What?” he asked.

“I got a book!” replied Akaashi.

“That doesn’t mean you win!”

“Fine but I get to take off my pants,” Akaashi replied with a pout, “and so does Kuroo.”

“That was not part of the deal,” said Kuroo.

“I don't make the rules sweety,” said Akaashi with a flutter of his eyelashes.

“You literally just made up that rule!”

Soon afterwards they heard the door open as Daichi and Suga let themselves in.

“Yoo hoo!” came Sugawara’s sweet tone from the entranceway, “we brought you some flowers Akaashi, Happy Birthday!”

He handed Akaashi a bouquet of lilies (his favourite) while Daichi was still coming entering the room, grumbling about how Suga shouldn’t just break into people’s houses.

“Ah thank you for coming Sugawara and Sawamura,” said Akaashi as he accepted the flowers and started hunting for a vase, “and thank you for the flowers.”

“No problem!” said Suga in an excited tone, “where are the cups? I brought Jäger!”

Akaashi’s eyes lit up upon spying the green bottle and Tsukishima groaned from the table.

“Do not!” he cut off Akaashi before he could start, “last time you drank Jäger you threw up in the shower.”

“Hey at least he made it to the shower?” Daichi reasoned as he opened the cupboard with all the cups, “Why do you have so many Doctor Who mugs?” he questioned as Oikawa’s eyes lit up.

“They’re mine!” he exclaimed, “my mum gets me Doctor Who merchandise for Christmas and my birthdays every year since we used to watch it together when I was a kid.”

“So… why so many mugs?” asked Daichi with a raise of the eyebrow.

“Well after 22 years you run out of merch,” Oikawa responded with a shrug, “and mugs are always useful!”

“Definitely more useful than that god awful alarm clock,” grumbled Iwaizumi.

“What alarm clock?” asked Sugawara innocently as Iwaizumi, Kuroo and Bokuto all shuddered.

“It's a dalek,” said Kuroo flatly.

“It wakes us all up every single morning at 4:30am,” continued Bokuto.

“By screeching out exterminate,” finished Iwaizumi.

“All of you?” questioned Akaashi.

“Its so ridiculously loud,” complained Kuroo.

“And this house echoes,” Iwaizumi added in.

“Hey if anyone should be complaining about the echoing its me,” exclaimed Oikawa, “especially when Tsukki and Akaashi are over!”

“Oh like you and Iwaizumi can talk,” scoffed Kuroo.

“Can we continue with the game now?” complained Tsukishima.

“No!” declared Bokuto as he threw his cards into the middle, “I give up because I hate this game,” 

“You’ve been cheating the whole time!” replied Tsukishima in what sounded like genuine anguish as he held up one of the thrown cards, “I asked you for this card earlier and you said you didn’t have it!”

“That’s because I wanted to keep it,” replied Bokuto, “its called playing smart.”

“Its called cheating! You don't get a choice in whether you have to give up the card!”

Akaashi came back to the table with an empty sun dried tomato jar filled with water that he had put the flowers in because they didn't own any vases. 

“I agree with Bokuto,” he decided as he handed all his cards to Oikawa, “but also I win.”

‘You don’t win!” replied Tsukishima.

One by one everybody threw in their hands and gave up, until it was only Tsukishima and Iwaizumi left. Tsukishima ended up taking Iwaizumi’s last cards and declared himself the winner.

“What you’re not the winner, I am!” replied Akaashi. Despite knowing that Tsukishima had at least four books while he only had two.

“I have more books,” replied Tsukishima coolly. Akaashi looked back indignantly before taking the books on either side of him, Oikawa’s two and Iwaizumi’s three.

“No I do,” he replied.

“You know what? I win because I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who didn't cheat all game!” replied Tsukishima.

“Hey I didn’t cheat!” replied Kuroo, “and neither did Iwaizumi.”

“And neither did I!” said Akaashi as he took Kuroo’s books as well, “besides, its my birthday.”

“What does that have to do with it?”

“Well, Its my birthday, so I’ll cry if I want to,” responded Akaashi.

“You can cry all you like, just don’t interfere with my victory!”

“Guys I think we should play something else,” interrupted Daichi, who had been sitting to the side with Sugawara, watching in amusement up until this point.

“Good idea!” declared Bokuto, “lets play truth or dare!”

“What are we, eight?” asked Iwaizumi.

“Well I don't know about you,” started Akaashi until he was cut off by all three of his boyfriends saying “DON’T” simultaneously. Akaashi just glared and continued in a low, almost murderous voice.

“But I’m feeling 22,” he completed

“Ugh”

Everybody got up from the table and grabbed themselves another drink before settling into a circle on the carpet. Daichi cleared his throat and decided that setting down some ground rules was probably for the best.

“Okay since I feel like if we give each other dares its going to get way out of hand,” said Daichi, deliberately not making eye contact with Kuroo or Bokuto, “We should probably just play a modified version of truth.”

“Ugh boring,” complained Kuroo until Daichi interrupted him.

“I’ll start,” he turned to Kuroo, “what’s the worst Birthday Present you’ve ever received?”

“Oh I can tell you that one,” cut in Tsukishima, “that fucking toothbrush.”

Akaashi sobered immediately and nodded his head vigorously, as though trying to erase the memories with force alone.

“Hey I gave him that toothbrush!” Squawked Bokuto indignantly, “and he absolutely loved it!” Kuroo nodded his head in agreement, almost as vigorously as Akaashi had just previously.

“I did! Who doesn’t love hearing about how beautiful they are every time they brush their teeth?” the toothbrush in question had been a novelty One Direction toothbrush that sang to you if you pressed a button on it.

“As awful as that toothbrush was as a whole concept,” cut in Tsukishima, “it was during the toothbrush’s extended death sequence that it became a nightmare.”

“I’m… almost afraid to ask…” stated Suga.

“Well, someone,” Tsukishima sent a glare towards Kuroo, “ decided to use it in the shower and then never changed the batteries.”

“They were those annoying little ones that you need to go to specialty stores to buy!” Protested Kuroo, “and its not like it didn't work.”

“Yeah but as it was slowly dying the music slowed down considerably and dragged out, it sounded like someone was performing an exorcism.”

“Are you sure that wasn’t just what they usually sound like?” asked Iwaizumi.

“HEY!” he was cut off by three separate voices. Bokuto, Kuroo and surprisingly, Sugawara. Every one stared at him with shock until he shrugged self consciously.

“They’re catchy.” Was the only explanation given.

“Okay me next!” interrupted Akaashi, “Bokuto, how did you guys actually break the window? And do not say it was Kimi because I swear to God I will Fight Club you.”

“Wait, when did we start using Fight Club as a verb?” Bokuto asked. Akaashi couldn’t be sure if he was genuinely confused or just wanted to change the subject.

“Since we watched it the other week,” replied Tsukishima, trying to get them back on track.

“You watched fight club without me? Heartless,” Bokuto said with a hand clutched to his chest.

“Last time we watched it with you, you screamed like 20 times,” stated Daichi.

“And it wasn't even during intense scenes, it was just during regular scenes,” continued Oikawa.

“Also you complained the whole time about not knowing what was going on,” added in Akaashi.

“Well I didn't know what was going on, that’s why I wanted to watch it again,” complained Bokuto, “it's a confusing movie.”

“The only reason you didn't know what was going on was because you were paying more attention to fondling my leg for ¾ of the film,” stated Kuroo.

“That ranked of equal or higher importance and you know it,” said Bokuto with seriousness and Kuroo just nodded.

“Anyway!” interrupted Iwaizumi, “I do kind of want to know what happened to that window, since it is technically in my house.”

Oikawa, Bokuto and Kuroo all gulped a little and tried to avoid making eye contact with anyone else. Akaashi nudged Bokuto with his foot until eventually he threw up his arms and gave in.

“Okay, so we were playing Odin Ball and it got a little out of hand,” he admitted.

“Okay I’m going to stop you right there because I do not want to know what on earth Odin Ball is,” said Akaashi.

“What’s Odin Ball?” Asked Suga and Akaashi just sighed.

“Well see its sorta like cricket,” started Oikawa and Akaashi sighed louder.

“I don’t want to know anymore,” he tried to say but Kuroo just picked up from Oikawa in a louder tone than Akaashi.

“Yeah but its played with that prop axe instead of a bat.”

“I don’t remember asking…” muttered Akaashi to himself.

“And that blow up volleyball!” added Bokuto.

“Wow, still don't recall asking,” complained Akaashi.

“And we play it in the kitchen,” finished Oikawa.

“Still do not want to know,” Akaashi was nearly fuming at this point and the three boys decided it would be best for them to be quiet now.

“Err okay, well Akaashi,” started Sugawara carefully, “what’s the best present you’ve ever received?”

“Oh that’s easy!” cut in Kuroo, “The one I got him this year!”

“You didn't even get me a present this year!” Akaashi accused.

“What are you talking about? I got you that CD!” defended Kuroo.

“It's a Zayn Malik cd, I don't like Zayn,” Akaashi said with a roll of his eyes, “You only got it for me because you like him.”

“Yeah but that was just part one of the present,” said Kuroo.

“What’s part 2?” asked Akaashi, albeit a little slowly, as though he really didn’t want to know the answer.

“Part two is where I fuck you to every song on that album,” replied Kuroo with a wink, “it’s also the deluxe extended edition. It’s got like, 5 extra songs.”

Akaashi’s cheeks warmed slightly and he decided to blame the alcohol. Speaking of alcohol, he needed a lot more of it.

He promptly stood up and walked over to where the Jäger was, quickly mixing himself some with coke. When he got back to where everyone was sitting in a circle on the carpet he saw that Tsukishima and Kuroo were arguing over the laptop. Up until this point Tsukishima had been picking the music, various house songs had been playing all night but it looked like Kuroo was just drunk enough to want to be in charge now.

“Are you serious right now?” Complained Tsukishima as he struggled with Kuroo for the computer, “I turned away from the computer for literally three seconds and you’ve already changed the music.”

“Guys stop fighting, just let him play some One Direction,” interfered Daichi.

They finally settled and “Drag me down” was playing. Kuroo looked smug while Tsukishima just looked annoyed.

“Where’s Zayn.?” He asked saltily, “Why isn’t Zayn in this film clip?”

“Shut up,” was Kuroo’s only reaction.

“Are they still all broken up? Didn’t they break up?” continued Tsukishima.

“I hate you,” responded Kuroo.

“Its okay, he wasn’t even that great,” continued Tsukishima, knowing this would only get under his boyfriend’s skin, “Niall is the most attractive one.”

“Which one is Niall?” asked Iwaizumi.

“The Welsh one,” responded Tsukishima.

“He’s Irish,” said Kuroo with a grit of his teeth.

“I don't care, he’s the exotic foreign one,” said Tsukishima.

“…what,” Iwaizumi just looked confused at this point.

“The blonde one,” said Suga helpfully.

“I don't know what they look like,” said Iwaizumi.

“Okay imagine the most hottest amazing guy you can, all blonde hair and tanned skin with a cute smile and an even cuter butt: that’s Niall,” said Tsukishima, “Now imagine a mediocre, not that attractive guy who’s sorta boring and uninteresting: that's Zayn.

“What the fuck?? You’re dead to me??” Kuroo looked kind of annoyed now, “Zayn is clearly the best one. The order is: Zayn, Liam, Niall, Harry, Louis”

“Why is Harry so low?” asked Oikawa.

 

“Because his hair used to be so bad, its actually pretty hot now though, so I’ll probably need to update my list. He might be overtaking Niall now,” said Kuroo with a leer in Tsukishima’s direction.

“No the order is Niall, Harry, Liam, Zayn, Louis,” corrected Tsukishima.

“That’s… not even a little bit right?” said Kuroo in confusion.

“How on earth can you rank them so easily?” Suga asked Kuroo and Tsukishima, “it’s like asking me who my favourite child is or something. Or asking one of you which is your favourite boyfriend.”

“Oh that’s not that hard at all,” remarked Tsukishima, “it’s most definitely Akaashi.”

“Yeah that’s pretty much a universally known fact,” agreed Bokuto while Kuroo just nodded.

“I don’t recall ever having this universally known conversation…” said Akaashi with a blush.

“Back to the original point though,” interrupted Kuroo, “and that is that Tsukishima doesn’t even know what he’s talking about right now.”

“At least my favourite is still in the band,” scoffed Tsukishima.

“Technically nobody’s favourite is in the band anymore,” said Oikawa helpfully, he received three glares for his input.

“Please stop this argument. You've both agreed that Louis is the worst, focus on that instead,” tried Daichi.

“Oh god he’s the worst!” said Kuroo with a groan as he threw his head back

“Yeah okay,” conceded Tsukishima, who honestly hadn’t been too invested in the argument to begin with.

“Okay my turn!” exclaimed Oikawa, “I choose…. Daichi! What’s your favourite anime?”

Suga started laughing and Daichi sent him a glare.

“Why are you laughing at that?” asked Oikawa.

“Because Deathnote is the only anime he’s actually seen,” replied Suga with another giggle as he took a sip of his drink, “he doesn't see the point in seeing another one since that one is apparently the best.”

“Wait is that true?” asked Oikawa in horror, Daichi just shrugged.

“It's a deep and compelling storyline,” he said simply.

“You know America has the rights to a live action death note movie now?” said Suga conversationally and Daichi just shook his head darkly.

“Yeah but the guy they got to play Light is all wrong,” he complained, “they should’ve gotten Zac Efron.”

Everybody went still from shock at the completely left field statement coming from Daichi.

“Why Zac Efron?” asked Iwaizumi tentatively.

“Because he’s like, the spitting image!” Daichi threw his arms around wildly and Sugawara actually laughed out loud.

“What did you do?” asked Tsukishima in shock as he stared at his former captain.

“I’ve been feeding him double shots all night,” replied Suga, “it doesn’t effect him too strongly but every so often you get this kind of gold.” Daichi scoffed.

“I’m not drunk I just have eyes: look,” he pulled his phone out and google searched “Zac Efron Light Yagami” before showing everybody his phone.  
Everybody in the circle sort of nodded a bit

“I guess?” said Akaashi as he scrunched up his nose slightly.

“You guess?? I reckon they based Light on Zefron. It's the only way,” said Daichi conspiratorily.

“When did they both come out?” asked Kuroo, “like, which was first?”

Iwaizumi took out his phone and started googling both mediums.

“Okay so both High School Musical and the Death Note anime came out in 2006,” he said, “but the Death Note Manga came out in 2003.”

“Yeah but Zefron was born in 1987,” cut in Bokuto, “so it would have to be him?”

“Putting aside the fact that you unironically refer to Zac Efron as “Zefron” and know what year he was born in without looking it up,” started Tsukishima, “he only really became popular from High school musical so we’d have to base it on that.”

“He was in that episode of Firefly,” cut in Kuroo, “and that was 2003.”

“But its also set 500 in the future,” said Bokuto wisely.

“That doesn't mean it wasn’t released in 2003….” Said Akaashi.

“Also he didn’t look like Light then,” argued Oikawa, “he was all little and squidgy, not heartless and awful.”

“Light isn’t heartless and awful!” argued Daichi, “he’s a product of extenuous circumstance and just as much as a victim as everybody else!”

“He’s an asshole,” replied Oikawa with a scoff.

“Yeah but so are you,” pointed out Sugawara, “and we love you anyway.”

“Guys I think we’re missing what’s really important here,” interrupted Daichi. Everyone turned to look at him, waiting to hear what would no doubt be words of absolute wisdom.

“If Death Note came out before Zac Efron was popular, that means that Zac Efron was actually based on Light,” he said with complete seriousness. Everybody was dumbfounded.

“What do you know,” breathed Iwaizumi.

“You might just be onto a really serious conspiracy here Daichi,” remarked Oikawa. Suga just giggled and went to get himself another drink.

“Guys you’re asking really boring questions!” whined Kuroo.

“Yeah ask something juicy!” agreed Bokuto.

“What kind of questions would you prefer?” asked Tsukishima.

“I don’t know, questions about fun stuff I guess?” said Kuroo with a scrunch of his nose.

“Ohhhh! I know!” remarked Oikawa with a smirk, “Akaashi; how was your first time?”

Akaashi just blinked at him a few times.

“You realise that was… a long time ago, yeah?” he asked uncertainly, “like, its not exactly a vivid memory for me.”

“Well then just tell us what you remember,” Oikawa said with a pout. Akaashi sighed.

“Well, it was with my girlfriend in my final year of high school,” said Akaashi, “and it was… normal I guess?”

“Akaaaaaashi,” Oikawa whined, “this is not an interesting story.”

“You’re the one that asked,” Akaashi said with a scowl, “if you want an interesting story ask Kuroo about his first time. Well, first times. Plural. I can vouch that every attempt was an event.”

Kuroo blushed and gave Akaashi a shove.

“Shut up you weren’t even there,” he said with a hiss. Akaashi blinked at him.

“I was there for your first time with a guy. Well, Multiple guys,” he reminded Kuroo and Bokuto started laughing.

“Oh man, that was so cute,” he stated and Kuroo hit him too.

“You mean with all of us?” asked Tsukishima, “because that was definitely cute.”

“I’m… almost afraid to ask what happened?” asked Sugawara.

“I’m not!” remarked Oikawa, “tell us!”

“It honestly wasn’t even that bad,” defended Kuroo.

“Babe, you got so startled by my erection that you stumbled backwards, fell off the bed, smacked your head on the frame and gave yourself a blood nose,” said Bokuto with a pat to his shoulder.

“And the next time we tried you couldn’t even undo your belt,” said Tsukishima, “you kept getting the buckle caught until eventually you just gave up and walked away.”

“And the time after that was the incident with the vibrator that-“

“Okay enough!” interrupted Kuroo, cheeks flushed with embarrassment, “I think we get it now.” He burrowed himself into Akaashi’s lap and hid his face: Akaashi started petting his hair soothingly.

“It’s okay,” he consoled, “we got there in the end.”

“How exactly?” asked Suga with wide eyes.

“Well… eventually we all got a little bit impatient with Kuroo and kinda… held him in place so nothing would go wrong,” answered Tsukishima.

“Ah man,” said Bokuto wistfully, “Akaashi rode dick like a champion that day.”

“He was the real MVP,” agreed Tsukishima, “definitely the favourite.”

“Guys I think you’re hurting Kuroo’s feelings,” pointed out Akaashi, who was still holding a very distraught boyfriend in his arms.

“Good,” said Tsukishima with a sniff.

Bokuto jumped onto Tsukishima and started ruffling his hair.

“Don’t even pretend you don’t love us all,” he said.

“I can and I will,” remarked Tsukishima from where he was being crushed under Bokuto’s weight, “until my dying breath at least.”

“Oh h oho, that sounds like a challenge to me,” said Bokuto from atop of him, “what do you think Kuroo?”

Kuroo instantly shot up out of Akaashi’s lap at his boyfriend’s “oh ho ho”, his signature smirk across his face showing that his earlier slump was over.

“It most definitely did,” he said as he started crawling over to where two of his boyfriend’s were wrestling, “coming Akaashi?”

Akaashi just nodded with a small smile and jumped onto Kuroo’s back to be carried over.

“Best Birthday ever,” he whispered into Kuroo’s ear as he heard Daichi and Suga snoring in the background and Oikawa dragging Iwaizumi upstairs to their bedroom.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [tumblr!](http://callingallbutterflies.tumblr.com/)


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